I don’t even want to think about what iteration of online blog-type landing spot this is for me. Well, maybe I do.
I first got logged on to the Internet when I was 14 years old, in 1996. I learned about the Internet and the joys of online publishing through The Idiot’s Guide to HTML and an off white 386 with modem. In the intervening years, I have hand coded pages, have had pages made for me which I updated, and used sites like LiveJournal and Dreamwidth.
In the 16 years, I have graduated three times (high school, undergraduate, and graduate school), lived in four states and two countries, and learned more about what I want to do with the years I am given on this earth. I have cycled through HTML pages with wild backgrounds, badly written poetry, and locked journals. I’ve learned about online privacy and stalkers. I’ve begun to find the voice in my own throat and have started to own it.
In the 16 years, I have continued to write, filling more than 100 journals. I have discovered the joy of running. I have discovered the necessity of meditation practice. I practice within the Shambhala lineage. In the past four or five years, I have worked with two amazing teachers, Miriam Hall and Natalie Goldberg, in incorporating my writing and sitting practice. I also have begun incorporating my meditation and running practices by looking at my runs differently than simply pounding out the miles.
This blog has morphed from its original beginnings. I started it as a way to process through my experiences as a counseling graduate student. I found it ironic, and kind of disturbing (to me), that the title was Visible and Real, but I was highly conscientious about not connecting it to myself or my school, due to fear of potential ramifications. Even as I was trying to be real about my experiences, I was not allowing myself the authenticity of being visible. I decided to scrap that and change the content and focus. So, I have privately archived those (few) entries and am refocusing things.
Writing, mediation, and running have become three things about which I am incredibly passionate. I want to share my experiences and learning with others. This is my attempt to do so.