It’s often clumsy and not that accurate, but always full of heart. That’s what gets us to pin it on the fridge door. We see how much love went into the drawing, “made just for us.”
Recently, I feel like the Visible and Real classes are my crayon drawing – the clumsy attempts to explain, offer, share what I’m doing. In some ways, it doesn’t feel accurate.
But it’s full of heart. That’s why it feels so challenging to see it stumble and to feel like I’m falling (and no, it’s not a feeling of flying).
I wonder how we grow from crayon pictures to Picasso.
I do know it’s not all at once – we don’t simply wake up and be brilliant at what we were clumsily doing the day before. And I know that, but my red beating heart doesn’t. It sees the cobalt blue and lime green lines as masterpieces – and yet, doesn’t understand when the fridge door stays empty. These crayon drawings are simply approximations of what Visible and Real is, and I am still sussing all this out. I’m still trying to find what colors fit and resonate – still trying to find my place in this practice and my own lineage.
Crayon drawings have fuzzy lines and are not always very distinct – they are from the heart, but are often experiments – and that’s what this feels like. It feels like a chance to keep trying – all the colors are there, but not all of them fit.
I guess I need to dump the whole damn crayon box on the table, let’s look at all the colors, let’s see what we can make. All the crayons, table full of color. This crayon drawing is all I have, but it’s practice – one line after another – that moves me closer to where I want to be.
This blog post grew out of a writing practice from the prompt, crayon drawing. There’s one more Guinea Pig Session available, Tuesday, August 28, from 7:00-9:00 PM (eastern) and space is still available. Sign up to see what emerges from your own practice.