Weekend Treats

The weekend continued as busily as the week… so, here are a few links to whet your appetite until next Friday!

Links of the Week

Muddy waters from Canffirmations
So many times, I think that this is what stops me from writing – here, the stories that long to be told, even sometimes emails.

Hand in Hand from Shared Worlds (via Neil Gaiman’s blog post)
A really neat look at some writing advice from writers, via their hands. (And Neil Gaiman’s blog post is also quite lovely, talking about voice and writing.)

The Domino Effect from Blog of Impossible Things
Oh, I love the message behind this – how we do what we need to do and become a domino. :) (There’s more to it than that. Promise.)

The man in black fled… from Flickr user Jameson42
Saw this in Zemanta as I was writing a post for M. Fenn for this coming week. LOVED IT!

Women Learn to Be Women series from M. Fenn
So, M. Fenn is a huge music lover. She’s working through a series (two posts so far) about the evolution of all-women rock bands. Really fascinating look, with great videos!

Weekend Prompting

Also inspired by this week’s busyness:

What do you need most in this moment?

Weekend Treats

Links of the Week

The Art of Asking: For Writers and Storytellers from Terrible Minds (via Thousand Shades of Gray)
Chuck Wendig talks about Amanda Palmer’s Art of Asking video and what it means for him.

Writing Thoughts: Dwelling on Process from Cat Rambo
A really clear look at writing process – and the act of looking at said process.

How to Be a Writer and Not Go Insane from Z. Egloff (guest post at Women and Words)
A look into one author’s writing process, and the roller coaster it can be. (And? How to get off of that ride.)

Word Choice – It Matters from the Jotter’s Joint
Gail at the Jotter’s Joint talks about finding one’s writer voice – including the vocabulary we use.

The Big Scary Thing I Do Every Week from Z. Egloff
A great look at being versus doing. And the challenge of the former.

Pixar’s 22 Rules of Storytelling from Boing Boing
#11 keeps running through my head, pounding the doors, and saying, “See!”

Story time from Canffirmations
A reminder of why I continue to tell my story, why it is important for me to do so.

My [Writing] Identity Crisis from Beth Morey
An honest and open look at writing identity and the complications and challenges that may arise.

Letting the light in from Canffirmations
Just reminds me of the quote “In our brokenness, we are blessed.”

Quote of the Week

“I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.”
–Joan Didion, Slouching Toward Bethlehem

Weekend Prompting

Definitely inspired by the links of the week and my own thoughts as of late…

What story is aching to be told? What would support you best in the telling?

Weekend Treats

Since this is my blog, I wanted to take a few minutes to thank everyone for reading and sharing and commenting on yesterday’s post. While there was some anxiety on my part about writing and publishing the post, the response (both online and off) made it worth it. And, again, the power of storytelling to reach others and to become more of ourselves is strengthened in my heart. Thank you for allowing this storytelling.

Now, on to the treats!

Links of the Week

Broken Mirror that Keeps Giving from The Love Yourself Challenge!
Such an amazing message.

Where do you come from as a writer? from Zara ~ a writing story
A great question starts the post and the blogger answers. A really neat read (and question I may answer soon!)

You Already Have Permission from Seth Godin
I think I need this tattooed on my forehead (backwards … so I can read it in the mirror).

Creative Resistance + Practicing Gentleness from Beth Morey
As always, I appreciate Beth’s honesty about her in the moment experience of creation.

Stories of Suffering/Stories of Joy from Inside Space
I can really relate to this reminder that our stories are important – all of them. The suffering AND the joy.

Winter Well Giveaway from M. Fenn
Huge congrats to M. Fenn, who has a new story coming out in an anthology in May. And there’s an advanced reader copy giveaway she points you toward!

Walk a Mile from This Side of the Mirror
A great reminder that our stories need safe places and open hearts to hear.

Weekend Prompting

Inspired by yesterday’s post, ticklings in the back of my brain, and a week of spring break where I don’t want to work the whole time, I bring you this weekend’s prompt…

What story is in you that needs to be told? That is aching to be birthed into this world?

Self-Care Practice: Things I’m Really Good At

[This post inspired by the Weekend Prompting from this past week's Weekend Treats, which was inspired by paperkingdoms, who got it from a Ravelry thread. I'd love to hear some of your own items!]

I’ve fought with writing (and posting!) this, because it sometimes seem like I’m bragging, and these things should be kept in my head. And yet, there are times that my brain, my silly silly brain, wants to tell me that I’m making it all up.

SO! This is about self-care and a go-to list for when I’m feeling like crap and when I need to be reminded that I’m not full of crap, but instead, there are some things I’m pretty daggone good at. This is for the days when I feel like I can do nothing right. This is for days of downheartedness and negative self-talk.

Onward!

I’m good at getting curious about things. It’s probably the biggest reason I’ve spent so much time in school. I love learning and I wish I had more time to dive deeper into all of the things I want to learn. I even have a running list of thing I want to learn more about. Oh, curiosity, I heart you. (This also explains the crazy amount of books we own.)

Going along with this, I’m good at being able to pull things together into a coherent whole and write about it. Example: Two inches or more of research for a 15 page paper. LOVED writing it and am working to polish it more. I love doing things like that. Also fitting into this category is being able to organize large amounts of data into categories, outlines, etc.

And, further riffing on that, I’m good at putting together don’t-breathe-on-it-it’s-gonna-collapse schedules. I started honing this skill when I was a manager at Starbucks, but have gotten really good at it the past few semesters, trying to organize myself and still get together with friends sometimes.

I’m really good at getting excited about things. You need a cheerleader about something? I’m your gal. I love celebrating the good and I love reminding people of the things that they can do and have done.

I’m really good at tasting coffee. I’ve lost a touch of what I used to be working around it all of the time, but still? Mmmm… I love tasting coffee, picking out hints of this or that. I love learning about where it’s from and how that makes a big difference in how it ultimately tastes.

I’m really good at trying new music. I’m game for almost anything and in fact, my music collection runs the gamut. (No, really. I mean it.) I love trying out new things and giving it a chance. There’s so much I’ve learned from being open to different music.

I’m good at wranglin’ guinea pigs. They can be quick little buggers when they don’t want to be picked up, but I’m pretty good at it!

What about you? What are you really good at?

Weekend Treats

Links of the Week

A bit more on time this week! Hooray! I hope your week has been wonderful and I wish you happy reading!

In the Art… Studio? from Beth Morey
A fantastic ode to creation – regardless of place or large swaths of time.

3 Writer’s Truths from The Jotter’s Joint
The Jotter brings us some great thoughts she’s had about what she’s learning in her writing life.

Day of Rest from A Thousand Shades of Gray
Reminders of practice – that practice is all there is.

Renew Your Passion for Running: Be Spontaneous and Ask Why Not? from Will Run for Glitter
A great reminder of ways to potentially renew passion for running many things.

Juicy Anxiety from Inside Space
An important reminder that there is often treasure under the anxiety.

Those People from Seth Godin
A really powerful reminder.

Weekend Prompting

This week has been full of rushing around, getting things done, and that moment where you look at a long term project and see there’s just one (or two) more things to do. There’s still a push, but it’s doable. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that the journey is as much as part of what you’re doing as the doing. So, this weekend prompting comes from that space.

What are you in the midst of right now?

Happy writing!

On The Sims, self-care, and scream-singing in the car

A Sim using a virtual reality simulator (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have a confession to make.

When I was an undergraduate, I tried to play The Sims. You know, the game where you create a simulated character and that character does stuff, you get points. Often, people would simulate themselves, or give their Sim their own characteristics and pretend it was a life they had. A green diamond hovered above their head, indicating that the Sim was happy. It would turn red when the Sim was in distress.

The first game I played of it, my character’s diamond turned red. She needed sleep. But, the trash needs to go out! I told myself, ordering the Sim (with the click of my mouse) to take it out.

She collapsed in the middle of the kitchen floor.

I haven’t played The Sims since.

I was reminded of this while driving home from school tonight, when I was thinking about all of the things that I needed to do when I got home, how stressed out I feel, and sometimes, I tend to push myself a little too hard. (Did I mention that none of my friends were quite surprised when I told them about the demise of my Sim?)

It was 9:35PM and I was sitting in the parking lot of school, pondering what to put on the radio to get me through the 45 minute drive home. I was berating myself for not having books or podcasts, but instead, relying mostly on music. But then, I remembered my poor little Sim from more than 10 years ago.

Also? The irony that I had listed “self-care” as Very Important to Me not even half an hour earlier in class was not lost on me.

So, I looked at my playlists and found a mix I made for a friend of mine last year. I put it on, turned up the radio, and headed home. I let the music fill me and I didn’t worry about singing on key or for anyone in particular. These were songs I knew, songs I loved, and songs that resonate deep in my belly. It was exactly the space I needed to be in. Scream-singing at the top of my lungs, letting go of whatever I was holding onto in my chest (where my anxiety tends to settle) and to let well-crafted words bounce off the fabric and windows, to feel myself becoming hoarse as I kept singing, song after song.

When I took the exit off I-83 that headed home, I turned the radio down, humming along and knowing that it would be a late night. But, finding a deeper reserve for right now. I won’t collapse in the middle of the kitchen. I have a small list in my head that really does need to get done tonight. The rest? Well, that’s also part of self-care. It will get done. I know that.

But now, to take out the trash.

Through the Glass Backwards: Trust, Unknowing, and Dancing

I’ve been thinking about resumes and applications recently, as that is what has been taking up brain space when I’m not working on school work. And I realize that any application process requires a lot of dancing with uncertainty and a lot of trust.

I’m putting in this work and energy in the hopes that there will be a chance in there for me. That someone is willing to trust my previous experience, my unspoken abilities, and that the ones I’ve spoken for look a bit like what they’re expecting. It’s a dance of uncertainty, not knowing what either party will get or what will happen.

And yet, there are a lot of ways we fill out applications, even without paper copies or resumes or answering KSAs (knowledge, skills, and abilities questions for federal job applications). Rather, we are putting ourselves out there when we walk down the street, when we look at other people, when others look at us.

What are we willing to see? What uncertainty and space are we willing to dance with? Are we willing to hold trust in the palm of our hands and see what arises?

Can we allow ourselves the freshness of unknowing?

Breaking silence and trusting the process

There comes a time when silence is betrayal. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

(Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day [Observed] to those in the United States today.)

One of the questions that permeates all I do in my program of study (counseling) is what do you believe about the process? What do you believe about the counseling process? What do you believe about being open and receptive and trusting, and what does that allow for in revealing the wisdom that people carry with them?

As I was talking with M. Fenn yesterday, we were talking about the writing process (a favourite of ours). During our actual writing time together, I realized how I’ve been doing a lot of writing for other people lately (and not just in the schoolwork kind of way). But, I’ve been trying to find that balance between writing about what fascinates, intrigues, enlivens me with what people may want to read about here. Sometimes that overlaps and sometimes it doesn’t. And yet, in trying to think that way, holy pressurized writing container, Batman.

And I think I ended up reminding myself of two things I’ve had to learn, over and over, about writing.

Standing in the ebb and flow

First, there is an ebb and flow to the writing process. There are times when I feel on fire with what needs to be written, how it is birthed into this world, and how committed I feel to it. Recognizing that this current writing space I’m in is simply part of the process – that I’m not 100% into it and think everything that I’m writing is crap – has allowed me to stop blaming myself for the pages and pages of “This is what I have to do today” that have been the writing material in my journal the past few months. Working to release that nasty voice of “What kind of writing/blogger/person are you anyway” is as much a part of the writing (living?) process as the words on the page. Remembering this feels very powerful. It also allows me to feel a bit more playful than I had been feeling about writing.

Second, I am (re)remembering that when I write for others, that I end up second-guessing myself. I lose the heart of my writing. Sometimes, writing for others is where I feel called and sometimes, just for myself. Perhaps this remembering is just a natural outgrowth of the first remembering.

I realize that there’s been a post brewing in me recently about the silences that we keep. That revealing the challenges that we go through – whether in writing or practice or life – isn’t something that we (I) do easily. It’s so much easier (and shinier) to show the beautiful things, the things that are working. And yet, what I’ve found with Visible and Real is that I perceive something is wrong with me – because I don’t have all of the answers, because things don’t go easily sometimes, because V+R doesn’t look the way that I think it “should” (tyranny of the shoulds: another post that’s brewing).

When we keep these silences, when we are not able to be with the process – as it is – and own up to both what we think it should be and what it actually is? That’s a deep betrayal of self, voice, and community.

Sitting with what is in my life right now – in the light and dark spots – and not being silent about it? This is my current work. To trust that I have the strength, to trust the world’s need for truth, and to be gentle with myself in this whole damn process.

Wherever it takes me.

Weekend Treats

Links of the Week

Monday Morning Music from M. Fenn
Such a fun bouncy song. A good way to start a Friday.

The Lies We Believe… from The Love Yourself Challenge!
A great reminder, especially after some of this week’s posts.

Step by Little Step from Thousand Shades of Gray
How do we learn to trust? How do we work toward our best selves, who are already there?

Start Your New Year’s Resolutions Today from Blog of Impossible Things
Resolutions on New Year’s can be refreshing… but you don’t have to wait!

The Whole Effing Gorgeous Point… from Danielle LaPorte
This really honest look at how we fall off our own wagons/bridges/thought trains was really refreshing.

3 Steps for Creative Writers to Tell It Slant from The Artist’s Road
Looking at how to to tell it slant (another way to show, not tell). A good resource!

Breathe In the Longing, Breathe Out the Wish from Thousand Shades of Gray
How to listen for what is really needed… how to settle in with the whole world.

my 2013 goals: less and more from Back to Her Roots
A great way to look at goals and goal setting, especially if you feel like you’re coming up short.

The Secret to Staying Loyal to Your Writing Schedule from Courage 2 Create
An interesting look at keeping a writing schedule. (Though the writing prompt one, I might disagree with. On some levels. But get what he’s saying.)

Writer’s block and the drip from Seth Godin
Reading Courage 2 Create’s just before this one was the universe’s message to me about showing up, I think.

Weekend Prompting

As I am currently traveling and away from home for a few weeks, it has inspired this week’s weekend prompting:

home is…

Happy writing!

Go gently into those good goals

I have a confession to make. I love goals. Making them SMART (smart, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely). Making them not-so-smart. Pushing myself through a challenge. Having to do lists, planners filled with what I should do. I gather resources around me like a blanket. Goals! Resolutions! Let me change!

But, as I talked about yesterday, I also have a tendency to use those goals as a self-sledgehammer, to try and shoehorn myself into a box that doesn’t always quite fit. It’s painful, and I’m slowly working with the tension of not reinventing the wheel and leaning into the wisdom of others, but not jumping into every single workbook/workshop/class/book that I find. (Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. I am finding that the mentality that I’ve been doing such things just reinforces the self-sledgehammer.)

Last year, when I was looking at the end of one year and beginning of another, I wanted to do resolutions differently. I wanted to find a way to frame it so it wasn’t about me changing or becoming someone different. But, I also wanted a way to measure what I was doing. What I ended up with were eight areas in my life where I wanted to show up more. And each had elements of measuring, so I could find a way to measure if I was showing up or not.

I found that it worked for me. That the joy of seeing the % completed go up in my little Excel spreadsheet kept me moving toward my goals. But more? It was about showing up and doing things that I already loved and that I felt made me a better version of myself. That mentality? I can get behind.

In that spirit, for 2013, I am committing to the same types of goals, with their own numbers. This helps the planning side of me, but allows for flexibility.

Building habits, building in what makes me feel more myself.

Here’s to a healthy year of leaning into the things that help us practice trust in ourselves.