I’ve been asking a lot of questions about my life recently…
What do I want to learn about? What do I want to do with my life? How can I give back to my world, in a way that leaves me feeling commited, rather than running away out of exhaustion? What do I keep running from?
What would I do if I didn’t think I would fail? What do I need to do, even if I fail? (Link goes to Brene Brown discussing the distinction between the last two questions.)
What do I want to become an “expert” at? (Tongue-in-cheek at the word expert, by the way. Link takes you to a Youtube video of “Only an Expert” by Laurie Anderson.)
The thing is, I’m not scared of hard work. I’m not scared of being tired or exhausted. I want to know that what I’m doing feeds the world. There are a lot of things that I am capable of doing and I’m of the generation who was told we could do anything we wanted to do. I’m of the generation who has heard, for a long time, do what sets you on fire. Becuase, I truly believe that’s what the world needs. People who are engaged, who are committed, and who are willing to find what they can give this world.
But, then adult things “get in the way,” and I know that I can’t quit my day job right now and do what I want. Yet… even as I wrote that last sentence, it’s not about what I “want,” in the traditional sense, I think. Rather, it’s about finding what sets me on fire and that I will do, no matter what. That it’s not about me, but what I give back to this world. (That link goes to Sakyong Mipham’s video, “What about me?” on Youtube.)
Life happens, and life is being lived, moment by moment. It’s not about waiting until what I may think is the perfect time.
Because now is the perfect time. Now is when we have. This breath. This moment. This precious slice, where we are, right now. This is all we’ve got. What will you do with it?
Life isn’t a support system for art. It’s the other way around.
Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft