Through the Glass Backwards: In the middle of changes

Each Thursday, join me for my once a week practice, Through the Glass Backwards. The title of this series came from my former commute into work, when I took the light rail downtown. Even though I tend to get motion sick easily, I usually ended up facing backwards, watching as  the city slips by. Now that I work from home, these vignettes will be a 200 word glimpse of things I see as the world outside me lives its life, and I am fortunate enough to see, but not necessarily from the light rail window.

Baltimore’s late summer humidity is clinging to my arms, even as there is a light breeze, reminding me that autumn is around the corner. I don’t see any school buses, but I know that school starts back up today, students returning to classrooms across the city, the country. My own book learning starts in just over a week, but as my teal and white shoes hit the pavement, I keep learning.

I decide my route, and keep thinking I’m going too slow, why? Shouldn’t I be able to do this much more quickly than my watch says?

I keep forgetting to breathe, keep forgetting to look at the blue sky with white cotton clouds. The internal voice shouting at me won’t stop. It keeps telling me that I’m a slow runner, what makes me think… it’s there I can catch myself.

What makes me think I can do this? How about all the other times I’ve done it? And I recognize the fear that is trembling under my breastbone, thinking that this will be the one time that I can’t.

I look down at my feet and see a pine cone, perfect as it is, dark brown contrasting sidewalk pavement.

All the things you’d say – they were never true, never true.
Adele, “Set Fire to the Rain”

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8 thoughts on “Through the Glass Backwards: In the middle of changes

      • Heck no! Running slow is not a character flaw. It’s the neurotic obsession to run faster than anyone else that is the character flaw. After all, there is only one man or woman who is the fastest in the world. The rest of us are keeping up.

        like i said: 12 MIN MILE GIRLS UNITE!!

        lol, what are you training for?

        • I totally understand people’s desire to keep pushing themselves. It’s definitely a neat feeling to personal record. :) For me, it’s become a race against myself, not others… it helps keep me sane and not frustrated.

          (And, in all honesty, I’m probably closer to a 13-15 minute mile, but it’s all good!)

          I’m currently training for the Baltimore half marathon! (First half!) It’s got a nice bumper of time (5-ish hours) to finish, so I think it’s a good balance to pushing myself and not killing myself.

          How about you? Are you training for anything in particular?

          • I was training for a marathon, but I feel off that bandwagon fast. LOL. I’ve done a couple halfys, they were fun, but boy do they hurt your body. I used to be super ito video blogging about it.

            Hopefully this serves as some good inspiration for your training! keep it up girl!

          • Hehe :) It’s okay, it happens! It’s hard to keep up with it (at least, for me it has been).

            I’m anticipating the days after the half to be painful… surprisingly, the post 10-milers weren’t too bad (I’ve done two of those), but… yeah. We’ll see :)

            Video blogging is BRAVE! I’ll have to poke around some more, but I’ve enjoyed what I’ve seen!

          • The second link is a video montage I made when running the Disneyland half marathon. It’s cool to check out, and yes, videoblogging is brave. Not really my thing anymroe!! lol

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