Listening to Silence: My current experience with practice

As I said yesterday, I’ve been feeling quiet. And I realize that this might not make a lot of sense, as I post every single day here. So, today, I wanted to talk a bit about what I mean by this, which means talking about my current

Zoom Zoom ZoomThere are times that my mind feels like it’s racing, a thousand miles a minute. There are days that it feels like my to do list is a thousand miles long. And there are day I want to complain about the overwhelm. And some days, I do. Because it’s not always easy. Anyone who wears multiple hats in their lives knows this. (And, for the record? That’s probably 99.9% of us.)

As I was writing the other morning, I realized that right now in my life, more than at any other time. I’m fortunate to have this time to sink in to practice, even as my to do list mounts due to the various projects going on. I’ve been practicing consistently. Nearly daily writing of 3+ pages. Almost daily exercise. Almost daily meditation practice.

While the during-meditation-time feels like my thoughts won’t stop, post-meditation has felt slower. That the intention of meditation is being carried off the cushion more than it had been.

That tends to mean I don’t have as much to say. I am listening to a lot of silence, but when I’m not, it’s either folk or yoga inspired music on Pandora. I’m finding myself better able to draw boundaries when I need to, to say no to things I want to do so that I can say yes to things that I really want to do. I’m learning what that’s like and how that feels. I’m learning to lean into my practice experience, instead of letting it stay on the cushion, page, or mat.

For one of the first times in my life, I feel this amazing gift of practice – tempering my EXCITEMENT and wanting to DO EVERYTHING with a steadiness and groundedness I am learning to lean into. And in that steadiness and groundedness, there are quiet moments without the chatter, where I want to simply share beautiful things – like poetry – with you.

Thank you for being here with me.

Do you have a regular practice? (And that can mean anything, really. It’s the intentionality that matters.) What gifts does it bring you?

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