Balance, uncertainity, and blessings

Zen Beach Stones at HomeI’ve been thinking a lot about balance these last few days. As I’m wearing multiple hats, trying to go in what feels like a number of directions, but knowing that all paths are leading me exactly where I need to go.

As I’m writing this, I just finished writing, for six straight pages, about where I’m at right now. A lot of uncertainty and so many good things. Feeling stretched and pulled and wanting to be able to finish something, but knowing that when full attention can’t be given in one single direction? Things tend to take a little longer.

I am insanely grateful for this opportunity to keep doing what I love, to sink into it like a warm bath, and let it wrinkle my skin. It’s leaving its marks. And I know it’s important.

And still, I think about balance, how it feels elusive, and I wonder how the term makes us feel bad when we perceive that we can’t find it? Because I know that something I hear a lot – from a lot of sources – is about finding work-life balance, about finding a balance, how if we can find a balance, things will be good. And yet, there is an ebb and flow that I’ve noticed in my own life, in the turning seasons. That things come to full and things winnow away. That living and life has its own rhythms, I just have to be willing to be okay with change, with uncertainty.

Right now? Right now is about abundance of opportunities, a time of renewing my strength, and stretching when I can. It’s about recognizing boundaries and relishing in cool autumn runs. It’s about wearing my hats and finding out what serves and focusing in there. Focusing, focusing, focusing. And, when I need to? Let go.

Filling up. Letting go. Letting the rhythms find their own way.

14 thoughts on “Balance, uncertainity, and blessings

  1. I certainly think that balance is a dynamic process. But I wonder, sometimes, whether it’s really what I’m after. Out of balance can be hard and stressful. But it can also be exhilarating and engaging. I kinda love those terribly out of proportion days, when you’re swept away by a project or an idea or a book or a pile of yarn. When you resurface, gasping a little for air, and having to play catch-up in other areas.

    And I worry, sometimes, that the only sustainable balance is the sort that you find at the bottom of a bowl, rather than the kind that’s tip-toeing around the edge, or even zooming up and down the walls.

    I don’t know. I get, on some level, feeling off balance, and out of center, and off-kilter. And I think that balance and equilibrium are good words for the alternative to those. But I wonder about the pursuit of balance the way it’s sometimes talked about in our culture… as if it’s an end, an arrival point. As if balance is about a perfectly executed game of Zenga, rather than a well-crafted mobile.

  2. Absolutely I think that tracing to some “ideal” of balance can simply be another tactic of perfectionism to use against ourselves. I appreciate you even daring to bring that up, as so many “positive” sources seem to claim if we can just achieve it (much less claiming they have) then all will be well.

    Finding a way to work when things are off balance is more key, I suspect. Way for getting ok with change! It’s taking you where you need to go…

    • Oh, I’d never quite put it in terms of “ideal of balance,” which is so often what we think/hear about. As though if we do, x, y, and z, this amount, this often, things will be perfect.

      And yet? The message there is no real perfect. That the change is part of the process.

  3. […] Balance, uncertainity, and blessings  via (I found this post literally moments after I write the post above, and when I went through the pages in her site, I definitely became internet-infatuated with Stephanie. And if you check out her resources page, I can vouch for basically all of the titles listed. (She has great taste.) I’m looking forward to reading more of her work, and maybe even signing up for one of her classes!) Share this: Pin ItShare on TumblrMoreEmailPrintLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. Leave a Comment by melissajenna on October 1, 2012  •  Permalink Posted in About Me, Mothering, Reflection, Writing Tagged Attachment Parenting, balance, Home, motherhood, Parenting, Work–life balance […]

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