Every Friday, there will be a prompt to lead us to the weekend. I would love to see your responses or thoughts about process in the comments. Or, even better? Leave us a link to your own blog and response there!
I challenge you to sit, breathing just like you do, and just see the world around you. Just a few minutes, a few breaths. Then, set a timer or page limit (for however long you want), and WRITE! Just put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard). Don’t stop. Don’t think. Just ground yourself in the prompt. Come back to it if you need to. But, for all that is good in this world, tell us your story.
This week’s prompt was the last line of a writing practice done this week in one of my classes. I write along with students, and when this question was the last thing I wrote, it felt really appropriate to use it as this week’s Weekend Prompting.
The timer was set for 10 minutes.
I’m stuck in the head right now, heading into midterms – nearly – and learning more and more while I wear one, two, five, tend hats throughout the week. I trade in knowledge, and I purposefully slow my hand down. Write each letter, write it all out, pay attention where the tension is. Even without paying attention, it always shows up on my shoulders, weight of the world, weight of the world.
I need to know about anxiety disorders, mood disorders, about psychopathology history, about reliabillity and validity, about empathy and attunement. I need to know my brain will not explode as I learn about taching, hiring processes, about small business ownership, and about practice. I carry books and papers around, hoping to find time to squeeze it all in.
I feel squeezed, too, learning what I need to know and cha-cha ing into the new spaces where I can lean out further. This is all about the fearlessness – feeling the fear but doing it anyway, the deep feeling in my chest that thumps and whumps and that calls for attention. Pay attention, pay attention.
I need to know how I feel, I don’t want to become detached from all the hats, the thumps and whumps. I need to know that I will and I can. And that forward seeking clutching grasping knowledge is not helpful. Because I know there are always things to learn, but knowing the future about something is impossible. We can have a good idea, we can hav a belief or faith, but we can never know our future, only live into it, try to make the best choices available to us at anytime.
Do I need to know every single conceivable choice? No. I might end up shocked into inaction.
I need to know I will choose action, even incremental movements, micro dances toward what will be.