I was procrastinating writing this post. I mean, how do I follow up vulnerability? How do I begin swimming in the sea of possibility? Or, more to the point, how do I get honest with what’s going on? (Not to mention I’m swimming in research, reading, and psychological testing constructs for school.)
So, I did what I normally do – I hit my icon for Facebook and started wandering through my pages there. And, I ran across this post I shared (courtesy of The Art of Non-Conformity’s FB page). And I realized part of my hesitation in talking more about my story is that it’s really not always that pretty.
In honestly thinking about the conversations I have during the day, I realize how much of them are based around things that aren’t going okay. Make a mistake? One mark against Stephanie, one more mistake to add to the litany that gets set off sometimes. I realize how often I would tell friends no negative self-talk and wonder how many times that’s a message to myself – a message that I rarely listen to, if I’m getting honest here.
I think one of the first steps in declaring oneself storyteller is to get honest (or as one of my favourite TV characters, Captain Mal Reynolds from Firefly says, truthsome) about what we’re already telling ourselves – especially if it includes messages like the one that runs through my head even now. Who am I to declare myself storyteller?
If we can’t get truthsome, how can we come to love our story? (Which is also to ask, how we come to love and own ourselves?)
Pretending it’s all hunky dory isn’t the way to tell stories. Stories include it all – the good, the bad, the times we’ve thrived and the times we’ve failed. The times that we’ve survived through what was going on. It may not be pretty, but it’s ours. And as I say every Friday with Weekend Prompting (which will be back this week!), for all that is good in this world, tell us your story.
If we don’t tell our truth, where’s the heart to that? Where’s the meat?
The image comes from the loveyourselfchallenge Tumblr. This may become a source of possible new storylines for me.